Wednesday's Whips (Vol. IV)

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 30, 2010

Come Monday July 5th in the year of our Lord 2010, LeBron Raymone James, will make his long awaited decision on which American City he views as suitable enough for his regal greatness. Should King James decide to abdicate his Clevelandic Throne he will thus forever banish the Old Sixth City to eternal sports damnation (and become it's greatest pariah). It is hard to feel sorry for a billionaire, but should LBJ bolt the Cavs, Dan Gilbert will emerge as a most sympathetic character.

Speaking of characters....Check out Ron-Ron's new music video below:

They Have Contract$?

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 30, 2010

Photo Courtesy of Pepto Bismol.

They have contracts? These competitive eater type fellows? What in the WTF?!

It turns out they must be inked because iconic "eater-athlete" Takeru-Kobayashi has declined to participate in this year's Nathan's Famous 4th of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island due to contract disputes with Major League Eating. What gives, T-K? Kobayashi, who won six consecutive Coney Crowns from 2001-2006, would miss the big event for the first time in a decade. Competitive Eating fans (all 76 of them) are no doubt crushed by this disturbing turn of events.

Wednesday's Whips (Vol. III)

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 23, 2010

Image Courtesy of SI Vault.

Broadway Joe takes his whiskey to the head (like a man). The Super Bowl III champ whose flashy bravado was pitch perfect for the wild New York sports market did it his way. However, many big names have strolled into the Big Apple over the years and flat wilted under NYC's scorching glare. Which brings us now to the biggest sports star on the planet, LeBron James. The future #6 is but one week away from free agency and the entire sports world has been buzzing over his future locale...

Can LBJ handle the daily grind of playing in professional sports' most demanding environment? The answer is almost certainly yes. James survived the Akron projects and an absentee father to become the greatest high school basketball player ever. He withstood the pressure of playing before his hometown crowd and won two NBA MVP's and led the Cavs to the NBA Finals. He was always a man in a man's body and now he is THE MAN.

Now, does LeBron James even want to ball in New York? Stephen A. Smith thinks the King is warming up to the idea. NYC Bigs are lobbying LBJ from every which way. From Mark Messier to Chris Rock and Donald Trump.

Intense...

Posted by Colin Doyle June 22, 2010

This movie has everything.

... In the end, it makes little difference whether Pat Tillman's death was caused by friendly fire or the enemy he fought

against. His sacrifice was no less. Both his family and his country are owed the truth.

Here are some good links:

MSNBC: Soldier: "Ordered not to tell" of Tillman's death.

CBS: Tillman Death Controversy.

And some good news:

ASU NEWS: Pat Tillman selected for College Football Hall of Fame.

Manute Bol, 1962-2010

Posted By Sean Doyle, June 21, 2010

Manute Bol, the NBA's tallest Dinka Tribesman, died Saturday from acute Kidney failure in Charlottesville, Va. At 7 feet 7, Bol was one of the tallest players in the Association's history. Bol was a shot-blocking machine, averaging 5.0 blocks per game in his rookie season (while setting an NBA rookie record with 397 total blocks).

Manute Bol should be better remembered for his humanitarian causes and dedication to his tribe. He spent much of the money he made from his 10 year career on aiding his people in war-torn Sudan.

Lakers Win Championship (Thanks To Ron-Ron's Shrink)

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 18, 2010

Much to the chagrin of Tom Cruise (and the no doubt plentiful supply of Scientologist Laker fans in the Staples Center), L. Ron Artest thanked his shrink during a giddy rambling post game interview on ABC last night. All joking aside, congratulations are due to the Lake-show who earned this championship with true grit and determination. With four incredible rounds (well, three maybe....Utah was pretty feeble) of basketball against the likes of Durant, Nash, Garnett, and Rondo, Kobe Bean Bryant now can take his rightful place alongside the all-time greats. "Black Mamba" now has a fat fistful of rings, and a team built for domination. This is his moment.

Random Notes:

It looks like Naitch ain't gonna call it quits anytime soon. Like the gladiators of old, Slick Ric wants to die with his (wrestling) boots on. God bless him. Next up on Flair's crowded date card is "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal. The "Hulkster" booked the match on this past week's Impact. This contest of age vs. speed will take place at "Victory Road" on July 11.

Now that the LeBron'stakes have started let's not forget the David Lee 'stakes. D-Lee, the only thing worth watching at MSG for the last five years was spotted out and about with Snooki. No word on if she was recruiting the human double-double machine for her beloved New Jersey Shore Nets...

NY Writer Feels Boston Is Unaware of Kobe Bryant....

Posted by Colin Doyle June 17th, 2010

THIS JUST IN!!!!!!!!

A little known Laker shooting guard named Kobe Bryant might just be the ace up the sleeve of the storied Los Angeles basketball franchise. The Lakers have ridden a Cinderella coach all the way to the NBA finals and now with their super secret weapon, may finally achieve the unthinkable!!!!

It's no wonder I feel like I can be a sports writer. Where does the Daily News find these wise wordsmiths?

Always A Bridesmaid? Not This Time. Lefty Will Win The Open.

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 17, 2010

Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/ Getty Images North America.

After five 2nd place finishes at the U.S. Open over the last ten years (1999, 2002, 2004, 2006, 2009) and $3.3 Million banked from the tourney, Phil Mickelson is ready to claim the title (According to this Dummy Bro, anyway.). Lefty loves Pebble Beach and called the conditions there this week, "the best U.S. Open set-up that I've ever seen." That and a weakened Tiger Woods should clear the field for the ever popular golfer. Every dog has his day...Sunday will be Phil's.

Wednesday's Whips (Vol. II)

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 16, 2010

The bestest hockey player on the planet (not named Sidney), Alexander "The Great" Ovechkin, is chillin' in Turkey with a bevy of seksi Turkish kadins! Klass, baby!! Apparently Ovi is big Ottoman Empire guy. Who would have thunk it? Ovechkin, Washington D.C.'s #48 most powerful person, is rumored to still be celebrating his epic 1st Round playoff collapse against Montreal.

Speaking of celebrations....Knicks' fans (the most abused variation of homosapien) have reason to celebrate now that Tom "H to The" Izzo is staying put at Michigan State after turning down $30 million large (Gill-bills) to coach the Cavs. Izzo, the head Spartan, wants to go out like King Leonidas. Good for him. Somewhere, Donnie Walsh is smiling.

You know who isn't smiling? Former Knicks power forward Charles Oakley. A scuffle at the Aria nightclub in Vegas left The Mighty Oak all black and blue. (Just a note: I stayed in a suite at the Aria in Vegas a couple of months back and it was all kinds of awesome. Great place). Oakley, the man who backs up M.J. Virgil-style, apparently got into it with a few bouncers and came out a little worse for wear. (They must've been some big boys cause Oak is a straight killer).

*For a look at The Charles' Cooking Show: "The Oakley Cafe" (Click here).

THIS Is How You Handle A Bad Call.

Posted by Colin Doyle June 16, 2010

Armando Galarraga needed this kind of coach (Wally "I'll Break Your" Backman) in his corner earlier this month.

It just goes to show....You can take the player out of the mid-80's Mets but you can't take the mid-80's Mets out of the player...

Image Courtesy of Topps.

Halla-dazed!!!

Posted by Colin Doyle, June 16, 2010

Image Courtesy of Mad Magazine. (Editing by Colin Doyle)

Game 1: Yankees 8, Phillies 3

Last night was a textbook example of how a Major League rivalry is settled. The Yanks took it right to Doc Halladay. The bats exploded, one after the other, in steady defiance of a stud pitcher who has a stellar record of owning the Bomber bats. CC Sabathia was able to hold off the Phillies for 7 innings, while allowing five hits, and Halladay matched a career high (ouch) allowing 3 homers. Lets see what the Phillies can do tonight to answer the shots fired at their Ace last night.

World Series Rematch!

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 15, 2010

Graphic by Troubled Harry.

It's Halladay vs. Sabathia tonight in the new ballpark in the Bronx. Cy Young Ace vs. Cy Young Ace in what is sure to be a preview of the Fall Classic 2010. The energy will be palpable as the pastime's two rowdiest fanbases fill up the house on a thick sweltering NYC summer night. The deafening crush of 50,000 big city/brother city diehards wailing for every Halladay K, every Cano backhand, every Utley smash, and every Jeter crash. The booming heat howls will drown out the vile mindless vuvuzelas and for one hot night turn the sporting world's focus away from the World Cup and back where it truly belongs....Yankee Stadium....the house that greatness built.

How's that for some hyperbole?

Here's how it breaks down:

Tonight: CC Sabathia (6-3, 4.01) vs. R. Halladay (8-4, 1.96) 7:05 p.m.

Tommorow: AJ Burnett (6-4, 3.86) vs. K. Kendrick (3-2, 4.80) 7:05 p.m.

Thursday: A. Pettitte (8-1, 2.46) vs. J. Moyer (6-6, 5.03) 7:00 p.m.

The Iceman Go-ith

Posted by Colin Doyle June 13, 2010

Image courtesy of SI Vault

He fought into old age and went out with his boots on. A true champion of MMA. A toe to toe challenger of any fighter. Liddell was the man who came to exemplify MMA on who's chin, grit, and show stopping knockouts Dana White built the UFC brand. Having watched Chuck's last bouts in the octagon I can honestly say seeing him get knocked out was always secondary to the honor of watching him fight. He could not have lost his final bout to a better fighter, or in a better fashion. He leaves the sport with nothing to prove, and nothing to defend. He will be remembered more for his fighting passion in the octagon then his title reigns. Iceman was an ultimate fighter through and through.

Video Courtesy of Fanhouse.

Cue: Inspirational World Music And Arrogant Bono Voiceover...

Posted by Colin Doyle June 11th, 2010

Because the World Cup is set to get underway today! Next to the Olympics, it is easily the world's largest sporting event. 32 teams will be competing from around the world for a shot at immortal glory (and...most unfortunately, this trophy. Seriously?!) On behalf of the World Cup, I would like to thank Miss Peabody's kindergarden class for their winning submission.

The Tri-State Nyets Start To Take Shape...

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 10, 2010

Image Courtesy of Gluekit/ New York Magazine.

"Eternal peace lasts only until the next war..."

(Old Russian proverb)

Yesterday, the New Jersey/ New York/ Newark/ Brooklyn Nets officially signed ESPN's own Avery Johnson to be their new head coach. Avery, the diminutive disciplinarian, will spend two (no doubt long) years in "beautiful" Newark before relocating to "Little Moscow" (aka Brooklyn) across the Hudson in time for '12/'13 season.

The Nets, who finished last season at an abysmal 12-70, (and for a time they flirted with breaking the NBA all-time post for worst ever record) are looking for a quick turnaround with the phenomenal A.J. at the helm. Unfortunately for Nets fans, it is unlikely this move was intended to lure King James to Newark as even Jay-Z has ruled out recruiting the chosen one for now. (Read this...)

No Lebron? No John Wall? No Coach K?! AHHHH!!!! So what are we to make of the immediate future for these ragtag vagabond Tri-State Nyets? Well, they are still owned by "the most interesting man in the world" Mikhail Prokhorov (or as Bill Simmons dubs him the "Russian Mark Cuban.") A mysterious man of unlimited means and eclectic tastes who would surely delight in killing James Bond were 007 not a fictional sort, Prokhorov has proclaimed the Nets would win a championship in no more than five years. (And possibly, remarkably, as early as next year???) Watch the clip below:

Hmmm...

In other Big Apple b-ball news, the Knicks City Dancers have added a new member to their celebrated troupe, CC's fav faux newsman Stephen Colbert.  No word on whether this move will sway a certain Akron-bred gentleman to relocate to broadway.

Wednesday's Whips...

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 9, 2010

Image Courtesy of Jim Prisching/Getty Images.

While is M.J. smiling? Well, cause his Airness's fav hockey team the Chi-Town 'Hawks are fixing to pick up Lord Stanley's Cup later tonight when they put down the upstart Philly Flyers for their (the Blackhawk's) first Championship in half a century (in Bro-town, no less).

Speaking of Chicago champions...does anyone (other than these guys) really think that Lebron is going to suit up in Bull's red and black just to play in the eternal (as in ETERNAL) shadow of the aforementioned M.J? LBJ would have to win at least six championships just to pull even with M.J. in Chi-town!! (Let alone the NBA...) That is too high a bar....even for a King!

With LBJ's "hometown" CAV's in hot pursuit of Michigan State's legendary coach Tom Izzo and GM Danny Ferry hitting the dusty road, will this quick Dan Gilbert makeover be enough to bring back LBJ? Or will basketball in Cleveland go the way of football and baseball in the old "Sixth City"....i.e. rapidly to hell in a handbasket...

OMEGA FAIL.

Posted by Colin Doyle, June 3, 2010

Photo courtesy of Yahoo Sports.

Baseball purists be damned, this is an outrage! Something has to be done. We all watch Umpires routinely rob teams of game changing plays when they dish out bad calls. But THIS? Come on!

"Part of the game..."

You know what else is part of the game? The truth, and rewarding hard work. MLB needs to do some serious soul searching on this one.

Enter The Phenom.

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 1, 2010

Image by Francis Hogan.

Stephen Strasburg, the 2009 # 1 draft pick, pitching Jesus, and Washington Nationals savior-in-waiting, makes his MLB debut this Tuesday. Strasburg was 7-2 with a 1.30 era in the minors before his recent promotion. Expect sheer domination in the nation's capital.