"QUITTER!!!!!"

Posted by Sean Doyle, July 9, 2010

Photo Courtesy of The Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Credit is due to ESPN's Bill Simmons on this one. ....What LeBron did to the Cavs and Cleveland is almost exactly the same thing as what Hulk Hogan did to WCW and the fans in the infamous NWO angle back in 1996. I know Pro Wrestling can be a corny scripted soap opera (with great athletes) but tell me you didn't just get goose bumps when Bobby Heenan screams, "Hulk Hogan has betrayed WCW...he is the third man in this picture!!"

LeBron isn't "The King" he's "The Third Man!!!!"

Below is a copy of the letter Cavs Owner Dan Gilbert wrote to the fans of 
Statement From Cavaliers Majority Owner Dan Gilbert

Print RSS Cavs Insider Discuss

“I would like to say thanks for the incredible outpouring of support by the numerous loyal and passionate Cavaliers fans who have offered to contribute to paying the recent fine I was assessed by the NBA.

The humbling offer by so many is another reflection of the strength of Cavs fans and the people who live and work in this region and are always the first to step up and have each other’s back.

I will pay this fine myself, but would be grateful and highly appreciative for any fan who redirects the dollars they kindly offered to contribute towards this fine to the Cavaliers Youth Fund, which will positively impact our region’s kids through the numerous local charitable groups the Cavaliers Youth Fund supports.”

Donation information: Fans can make checks payable to the Cavaliers Youth Fund and send them to the attention of: CYF, One Center Court, Cleveland, OH 44115. They can also make a donation on-line at www.cavs.com/donate.

NO GUTS...NO GLORY.

Posted by Sean Doyle, July 8, 2010.

"No one ever achieved greatness by playing it safe."

- Harry Gray

"I've never been afraid to fail."

- Michael Jordan

LeBron James is going to a small, safe market to be a role player. I repeat, LeBron James is going to a small market (Miami is the smallest of the six markets that LBJ considered) to be a role player. He will be Pippen to D. Wade's Jordan. (And that is fine, but it forever takes him out of the running for the title of greatest ever. Forever)

Michael Jordan would never do that. Larry Bird would never do that. Tim Duncan didn't go to Orlando, and only Nixon could go to China. LBJ turned down the greatest city on Earth and the greatest fans in basketball in NY. He turned his back on his battered vulnerable beaten down hometown in Cleveland, OH. He didn't want any part of Jordan's eternal shadow in Chi-Town. He goes now to the least passionate, most fickle sports city in America. In the final analysis, LBJ needed Dwyane Wade, and Dwayne Wade didn't need LBJ.

At 10:37: According to ESPN's Chris Broussard a big name GM in the NBA just called LeBron soft and claimed he (LBJ) doesn't have the mentality of a winner. OUCH!!!!!

At 10:43: Miami native and Herald columnist Dan Le Batard announces , "Miami stinks as a sports town. We don't deserve this."

At 10:55: "I think LeBron will regret not calling Dan Gilbert before this," said Jeff Van Gundy on ESPN.

11:02: According to SB*Nation, police cars have surrounded LeBron's billboard in downtown Cleveland for fear it may be destroyed or vandalized.

LBJ now goes from being the most popular player in the NBA to the most hated. His "brand" has taken a major hit from which he may never, ever recover. He is no longer a leading man but a role player, a Robin to D. Wade's Batman. He will win titles but nobody will see him as a threat to Jordan's legacy ever again. There is only one #23 and trust me #6 is no #23....

12:37: I'm going to bed. LBJ fears NYC. I'll say it again...LBJ fears NYC. To quote the great Ric Flair, "To be the man, you've got to beat the man!" LeBron couldn't beat the man so he up and joined him.

Peace,

-Sean Doyle

Meet The New (And Rather Unfortunate) Face Of NBA Recruitment.

Posted by Colin Doyle, July 8, 2010

Alas, it is true... in return for a life time supply of grey hotdogs and rotten beer at the House that Isiah destroyed, "Rapper" Fat Joe stepped in on behalf of the Knicks organization to help convince Amar'e Stoudemire that his future lay in Midtown Manhattan. All the more ominous for the Knicks and their F-level Rap Star recruitment strategy is this massive mural looking down on the old Garden.

GULP....

LEBRONATHON FINAL WORD. (Wednesday's Whips Vol. V)

Posted By Sean Doyle, July 7, 2010.

Photo Courtesy of Prince Akeem.

It has come to this. We are but 24 short hours away from the most important announcement in NBA free agent (re: human) history. Major pieces are now off the board. Bosh and Wade have both committed to the wily Riley South Beach Superteam. Nowitzki and Pierce have opted to stay home sweet home. Amar'e "STAT" Stoudemire has taken to the Big Apple. So where does this leave the King? Apparently in Greenwich, Connecticut. Hmmm....

Why is LBJ in hedge fund heaven? One does wonder as wild rumors abound. Tommorow night at 9 p.m. LeBron announces live on ESPN which one of the six teams (Cleveland, New York, Miami, Chicago, Los Angeles, New Jersey) pursing him he has finally decided to sign with.

I'm a (long suffering) Knicks fan. I'm biased I admit it. But I think there is a very strong argument as to why LBJ should come to NYC. I'll lay it out (stat-wise) here:

On/Off Court Maximum Earning Potential (According to Interbrand):

NY Knicks: $ 1.9 Billion

Cleveland Cavs: $ 1.1 Billion

Chicago Bulls: $ 1.2 Billion

Miami Heat: $ 0.9 Billion

(Winner: Knicks)

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Lifetime Probability of Earning a Billion Dollars (According to Interbrand):

NY Knicks: 48.6%

Cleveland Cavs: 1.3%

Chicago Bulls: 1.0%

Miami Heat: 0.0%

Why is this important? Well, for years LeBron James has repeatedly stated his desire to be the first professional athlete to become a billionaire. According to Interbrand, James' probability of achieving this goal is best served (perhaps only served) by inking with the New York Knicks (by a very, very wide margin).

(Winner: Knicks)

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City Population, Greater Urban Population (According to Wikipedia):

New York: 8.4 Million, 18.2 Million

Cleveland: 0.4 Million, 2.3 Million

Chicago: 2.8 Million, 8.7 Million

Miami: 0.4 Million, 1.1 Million

(Winner: Knicks)

This is a big one....There are more than twice as many people in just NYC (8.4 Million) than there are in Cleveland, Chicago, and Miami combined!!! (3.6 Million for all three). Who wants to be a Billionaire, LBJ?

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NBA Team Values (According to Forbes):

NY Knicks: $ 586 Million

Cleveland Cavs: $ 476 Million

Chicago Bulls: $ 511 Million

Miami Heat: $ 364 Million

(Winner: Knicks)

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Combined PER's (Player Efficiency Ratings) of Team's Current Top Three:

NY Knicks: 51.5 (Stoudemire 22.6, Gallinari 14.8, Chandler 13.7)

Cleveland Cavs: 48.6 (Varejao 15.8, Williams 16.1, Jamison 16.7)

Chicago Bulls: 57.8 (Boozer 21.3, Noah 17.9, Rose 18.6)

Miami Heat: 63.7 (Wade 28.0, Bosh 25.0, Chalmers 10.7)

(Winner: Heat)

* On the pure numbers, Miami is way ahead. However, if LeBron goes to such a loaded team in a such small fickle market it likely would be seen as a cop-out (an easy route to a couple rings...something Jordan or Bird would never ever do) and could seriously (perhaps irreversibly) damage his reputation and by extension his brand....(Bye bye billions...)

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Biggest Upside/ Impact (2009-2010 Record, Recent History, etc.)

NY Knicks: 29-53 (2 playoff appearances in last 10 years)

Cleveland Cavs: 61-21 (5 playoff appearances in last 10 years, lost '07 Finals)

Chicago Bulls: 41-41 (5 playoff appearances in last 10 years, Jordan led to 6 Titles in 90's)

Miami Heat: 47-35 (7 playoff appearances in last 10 years, NBA Champs in 2006)

(Winner: Knicks)

Quite simply, if LBJ wants to make the biggest impact he will sign with the Knickerbockers. Thanks to "Fire" Isiah Thomas, the Knicks have suffered through the worst decade in franchise history. If LeBron inks here (NY) he will instantly lead New York to 50 plus wins and a deep playoff run. The Knicks haven't won 50 games in 11 years! LBJ, Amar'e, and Gallo are good for 50+ wins easy. The Bulls are Jordan's team (6 Rings are a minimum requirement there..). 'Nuff said. Miami are Wade's team (always have been and always will be) and they just won the NBA title in 2006! Cleveland is a close 2nd to New York because it is LBJ's home and the city of Cleveland hasn't had a championship in any sport for 46 years!!!

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Conclusion:

Miami is a tiny market (smaller than Cleveland!) with perhaps the most fickle dispassionate sports fans of all of the six major players for LeBron. Yes, Miami is a cool, sexy city but it is no sports town and no place to make a billion dollars. In fact, Interbrand has it as a 0% chance that LBJ will make a billion dollars there. o.o freakin' percent!!!!!!! Plus, LBJ will be Scottie Pippen to Dwayne Wade's Michael Jordan, forever ending the notion that he will be considered in the running for greatest of all time. Cheap easy rings = LBJ BRAND FAIL.

LBJ's best bets are Cleveland, New York, and Chicago. I'd steer clear of Chi-town because of MJ's superhuman sized shadow. This leaves Cleveland (Home) and New York (Home away from home)

as LeBron's best chances to build his own unique legacy and brand (not ride on D. Wade's coattails) and make that cool billion dollars he has always aspired to make. As a Knicks fan you know where I stand.

- Sean Doyle

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DUMMY BROS. NBA DRAFT DIARY!

Posted by Sean Doyle, July 1, 2010

Photo by Colin Doyle.

10:00 AM: A line snakes around the Garden in quelled anticipation of a limited amount of $15 dollar tickets for the 2010 NBA Draft. I (Sean) call my brother (Colin) who happens to be in Midtown Manhattan that day for a Schmuck's convention in the Korean button district and ask him to head over to MSG and get on line. "I must be at this draft!!" I bark into the phone. "Why?" he asks. Well, I reply "I wanted to see what middling player (who will never play in the NBA) the Knicks take in the 2nd round. That's why!" Colin, understanding the magnitude of this event hops in a cab and gears towards MSG....

10:38 AM: Colin, now dead last on the ticket line, snaps the above photo. After a few moments he strikes up a conversation with the Danilo Gallinari fan standing in front of him. As it turns out, the kid was a plant hired by James Dolan to create the impression that Knicks fans were actually excited about this draft.

12:13 PM: My cell phone rings as I am lounging by my pool in East Hampton. It's Colin. He sounds totally gassed. "I got the tickets!" he shouts. "What tickets?" I ask. "The tickets to the NBA Draft, dipshit! Remember you asked me to grab them ?" Turns out Colin doesn't follow my sarcasm very well. "Shit dude, I was joking! You actually got them?" I said while fighting back a laugh. Colin didn't sound as amused. "I waited for two hours in effin' Midtown heat! WTF!" he shouted. Looks like I'm going to the NBA Draft!

3:50 PM I pull out of my driveway with my Frederic Weis Knicks jersey on. E.H. is about two hours from N.Y. so I should be in the Garden with time to spare.

7:03 PM: I am still in traffic. Three hours and I am still stuck on the %#$! Long Island Expressway!

7:43 PM: Fuckity really?

Photo by Sean Doyle

Wednesday's Whips (Vol. IV)

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 30, 2010

Come Monday July 5th in the year of our Lord 2010, LeBron Raymone James, will make his long awaited decision on which American City he views as suitable enough for his regal greatness. Should King James decide to abdicate his Clevelandic Throne he will thus forever banish the Old Sixth City to eternal sports damnation (and become it's greatest pariah). It is hard to feel sorry for a billionaire, but should LBJ bolt the Cavs, Dan Gilbert will emerge as a most sympathetic character.

Speaking of characters....Check out Ron-Ron's new music video below:

They Have Contract$?

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 30, 2010

Photo Courtesy of Pepto Bismol.

They have contracts? These competitive eater type fellows? What in the WTF?!

It turns out they must be inked because iconic "eater-athlete" Takeru-Kobayashi has declined to participate in this year's Nathan's Famous 4th of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island due to contract disputes with Major League Eating. What gives, T-K? Kobayashi, who won six consecutive Coney Crowns from 2001-2006, would miss the big event for the first time in a decade. Competitive Eating fans (all 76 of them) are no doubt crushed by this disturbing turn of events.

Wednesday's Whips (Vol. III)

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 23, 2010

Image Courtesy of SI Vault.

Broadway Joe takes his whiskey to the head (like a man). The Super Bowl III champ whose flashy bravado was pitch perfect for the wild New York sports market did it his way. However, many big names have strolled into the Big Apple over the years and flat wilted under NYC's scorching glare. Which brings us now to the biggest sports star on the planet, LeBron James. The future #6 is but one week away from free agency and the entire sports world has been buzzing over his future locale...

Can LBJ handle the daily grind of playing in professional sports' most demanding environment? The answer is almost certainly yes. James survived the Akron projects and an absentee father to become the greatest high school basketball player ever. He withstood the pressure of playing before his hometown crowd and won two NBA MVP's and led the Cavs to the NBA Finals. He was always a man in a man's body and now he is THE MAN.

Now, does LeBron James even want to ball in New York? Stephen A. Smith thinks the King is warming up to the idea. NYC Bigs are lobbying LBJ from every which way. From Mark Messier to Chris Rock and Donald Trump.

Intense...

Posted by Colin Doyle June 22, 2010

This movie has everything.

... In the end, it makes little difference whether Pat Tillman's death was caused by friendly fire or the enemy he fought

against. His sacrifice was no less. Both his family and his country are owed the truth.

Here are some good links:

MSNBC: Soldier: "Ordered not to tell" of Tillman's death.

CBS: Tillman Death Controversy.

And some good news:

ASU NEWS: Pat Tillman selected for College Football Hall of Fame.

Manute Bol, 1962-2010

Posted By Sean Doyle, June 21, 2010

Manute Bol, the NBA's tallest Dinka Tribesman, died Saturday from acute Kidney failure in Charlottesville, Va. At 7 feet 7, Bol was one of the tallest players in the Association's history. Bol was a shot-blocking machine, averaging 5.0 blocks per game in his rookie season (while setting an NBA rookie record with 397 total blocks).

Manute Bol should be better remembered for his humanitarian causes and dedication to his tribe. He spent much of the money he made from his 10 year career on aiding his people in war-torn Sudan.

Lakers Win Championship (Thanks To Ron-Ron's Shrink)

Posted by Sean Doyle, June 18, 2010

Much to the chagrin of Tom Cruise (and the no doubt plentiful supply of Scientologist Laker fans in the Staples Center), L. Ron Artest thanked his shrink during a giddy rambling post game interview on ABC last night. All joking aside, congratulations are due to the Lake-show who earned this championship with true grit and determination. With four incredible rounds (well, three maybe....Utah was pretty feeble) of basketball against the likes of Durant, Nash, Garnett, and Rondo, Kobe Bean Bryant now can take his rightful place alongside the all-time greats. "Black Mamba" now has a fat fistful of rings, and a team built for domination. This is his moment.

Random Notes:

It looks like Naitch ain't gonna call it quits anytime soon. Like the gladiators of old, Slick Ric wants to die with his (wrestling) boots on. God bless him. Next up on Flair's crowded date card is "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal. The "Hulkster" booked the match on this past week's Impact. This contest of age vs. speed will take place at "Victory Road" on July 11.

Now that the LeBron'stakes have started let's not forget the David Lee 'stakes. D-Lee, the only thing worth watching at MSG for the last five years was spotted out and about with Snooki. No word on if she was recruiting the human double-double machine for her beloved New Jersey Shore Nets...

NY Writer Feels Boston Is Unaware of Kobe Bryant....

Posted by Colin Doyle June 17th, 2010

THIS JUST IN!!!!!!!!

A little known Laker shooting guard named Kobe Bryant might just be the ace up the sleeve of the storied Los Angeles basketball franchise. The Lakers have ridden a Cinderella coach all the way to the NBA finals and now with their super secret weapon, may finally achieve the unthinkable!!!!

It's no wonder I feel like I can be a sports writer. Where does the Daily News find these wise wordsmiths?