Posted by Sean Doyle, June 10, 2010Image Courtesy of Gluekit/ New York Magazine.
(Old Russian proverb)
Yesterday, the New Jersey/ New York/ Newark/ Brooklyn Nets officially signed ESPN's own Avery Johnson to be their new head coach. Avery, the diminutive disciplinarian, will spend two (no doubt long) years in "beautiful" Newark before relocating to "Little Moscow" (aka Brooklyn) across the Hudson in time for '12/'13 season.
The Nets, who finished last season at an abysmal 12-70, (and for a time they flirted with breaking the NBA all-time post for worst ever record) are looking for a quick turnaround with the phenomenal A.J. at the helm. Unfortunately for Nets fans, it is unlikely this move was intended to lure King James to Newark as even Jay-Z has ruled out recruiting the chosen one for now. (Read this...)
No Lebron? No John Wall? No Coach K?! AHHHH!!!! So what are we to make of the immediate future for these ragtag vagabond Tri-State Nyets? Well, they are still owned by "the most interesting man in the world" Mikhail Prokhorov (or as Bill Simmons dubs him the "Russian Mark Cuban.") A mysterious man of unlimited means and eclectic tastes who would surely delight in killing James Bond were 007 not a fictional sort, Prokhorov has proclaimed the Nets would win a championship in no more than five years. (And possibly, remarkably, as early as next year???) Watch the clip below:
In other Big Apple b-ball news, the Knicks City Dancers have added a new member to their celebrated troupe, CC's fav faux newsman Stephen Colbert. No word on whether this move will sway a certain Akron-bred gentleman to relocate to broadway.